You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize