I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
