But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
