do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
