Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
