Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
