i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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