i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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