he wants to bone in the snuggie
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
