It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
