The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
