I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
