So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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