There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
one might say we're banned from that church
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
