A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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