Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Houston, we have a blender
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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