guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
