we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
