Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
