Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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