i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
smell my finger.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
