I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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