Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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