you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
