I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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