So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
