We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
