I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
