You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
