Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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