I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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