Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i think i scared a bird with my dick
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
