Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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