I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
