Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
