how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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