He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You took a bar mat shot.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize