she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
