I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
