Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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