his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
