Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
