yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
