Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
