He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
