I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
