Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
