just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
