She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
