he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
