Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
