Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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