I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
