all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
