Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
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