That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
