do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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