And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
