I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize